Dear Congregation, 

Let’s be as thoughtful about welcoming one another weekly as we are about welcoming newcomers. None of us, kid and adult alike, want to be tokens for a demographic group. 

I love when we have visitors and newcomers with kids, and I especially love when members of the congregation say hello to kids who are new to the community (and their parents). Thank you for your warm welcome for these families. They often leave a note on their guest cards saying things like “You all are awesome!” 

But sometimes rather than needing to welcome a family we are just meeting, we are saying hello after not seeing one another for a while. We have families who attend Sunday Services primarily online, or infrequently. And while there is a good chance families with children are still here at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Danbury nearly every single Sunday (the majority of our families have one or more children enrolled in the Our Whole Lives sexuality education programs), you may not have seen them for a while. Our Whole Lives is held at times and in locations that aren’t particularly visible to the congregation. 

Here are some ideas for providing a warm welcome to families who you may not have seen for some time: “It’s great to see you!” or “How are you?” Even “catch me up!” 

A greeting like “Finally! I haven’t seen kids here in so long! Where are all the kids these days?!” is enthusiastic, but it can make families with kids feel put on the spot and unintentionally come across as unwelcoming. It is especially unwelcoming for a family that has been experiencing difficulty in family life and that might find it challenging to be present. 

This kind of greeting also off-loads your anxiety onto the family with whom you are speaking. The same thing can happen in less direct ways when you use your time together to catch the family up on congregational business and all the things you’re feeling nervous about regarding the future of the congregation. “Rev. Kathleen is leaving, and we don’t have RE!” (Please don’t say we don’t have Religious Education. We have a number of volunteers who work very hard on our children and youth ministries, and it dismisses and invisibilizes their work. Also please don’t say we don’t have children. It invisibilizes kids and their families, and invites a demotivating kind of guilt about not being around on more Sunday mornings. Finally, rest assured that while there is grief at goodbyes, the congregation has survived and thrived over many ministerial transitions.) 

Let’s be as thoughtful about welcoming one another weekly as we are about welcoming newcomers. None of us, kid and adult alike, want to be tokens for a demographic group. 

Warmly in Faith, 

Sierra-Marie