SPIRITUAL CHALLENGE for SEPTEMBER 2025
A Personal Belonging Audit
My spiritual challenge to you this month is to stop fitting in. Brene Brown says that belonging is a primal human need. It’s so deep that we twist and turn ourselves into a “human pretzel” as she puts it, in order to be accepted and approved of by others. Our need to belong is so great we turn ourselves into something we’re not in order so we will “belong.” But this is not true belonging. It only results in “fitting in.”
Belonging says Brown, “is something else entirely—it’s showing up and letting yourself be seen and known as you really are—love of gourd painting, intense fear of public speaking and all. Belonging, she argues, requires being authentically yourself. So much so that “you’re willing to stand alone is a wilderness–an untamed, unpredictable place of solitude and searching. It is a place as dangerous as it is breathtaking, a place as sought after as it is feared. The wilderness can often feel unholy because we can’t control it, or what people think about our choice of whether to venture into that vastness or not. But it turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it’s the bravest and most sacred place you will ever stand. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are. ”
My challenge to you is to undertake a “Belonging Audit.” Survey your life for places where you feel you truly belong and places where you are merely fitting in. Ponder your relationships with other people, work, school, church, and other groups, organizations, and teams in which you’re involved.
Ask yourself:
• In what ways and for what reasons am I my authentic self (or not) in these relationships and groups?
• Where do I fit in and where do I belong and why?
Some things to ponder to help you reflect:
• In what ways do I change my behavior among these people/groups?
• In what ways do I hide my emotions from these people/groups?
• What are things about myself I don’t want these people/groups to know?
• How careful am I about sharing my deepest beliefs, values, and worldview with these people/groups?
• What was it like the last time I felt I stood out or stood alone in these groups?
• How would I treat one of these people or groups if I discovered they held certain beliefs or values or worldviews? What differences, if any, would be so great that I would no longer associate with them?
Think about these things for a few weeks. Make some notes. Before the end of the month put your pondering into writing, or record audio of video yourself addressing these questions. Make statements about where you fit in and where you belong and why. Perhaps make a statement about how and where you fit in and why that’s appropriate and how and where you might stop fitting in and find a true sense of belonging. If you already have a deep sense of belonging explain what allows that to exist for you.