Dear Ones,
In spite of what you may have heard through the years, curiosity did not kill the cat. Fear did. Curiosity takes courage and when we’re scared, we tend to ignore curiosity. When we ignore curiosity, we don’t think critically. This is why the authoritarian playbook is to weaponize fear. This is why fascists manufacture frightful enemies. They turn minority groups without any institutional power from whom there is nothing to fear into horrible scary monsters. Life provides enough for us to worry about with manufactured fears about Trans people, women, people of color, and immigrants.
In her 2016 book Conflict is Not Abuse author Sarah Schulman presents the idea that at “many levels of human interaction there is an opportunity to conflate discomfort with threat, to mistake internal anxiety for exterior danger, and in turn to escalate rather than resolve” conflict. She says fear causes us to over-react and make things worse. One example she used was the police murdering Michael Brown – for whatever reason Black men instilled such fear in the officers that they killed the black man who was not actually a threat, but who actually had his hands up pleading “Don’t shoot.” This same type fear-based overreaction dynamic is playing out in our immigration policy dominated by ICE raids, kidnappings, and disappearing people into a system of concentration camps.
When the politician and the preacher want you to be afraid – first ask “Why?” and then “Who benefits?” Curiosity dies at the hands of assumptions and projections. Is there a real reason to fear something or someone or does something or someone just want us to be afraid? Who makes money and increased their power, if I am afraid?” Creating fear escalates hate. Hate escalates violence. No one benefits from this, so ask “Who benefits?”
Stay Curious! Curiosity may be the most underdeveloped adulting skill there is. Curiosity comes in handy in just about any situation in which we find ourselves. It is the ultimate life hack. Master curiosity and you have one of the keys to living a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life. Practicing curiosity helps us be less emotionally reactive, less anxious, and less afraid. Curiosity helps us learn, fills us with wonder, inspires courage, and improves our relationships. Curiosity requires us to listen more attentively, pause before speaking, and ask questions instead of offering answers. Curiosity is a spiritual practice of kindness, compassion, and acceptance. Curiosity centers the other instead of the self. Curiosity reinforces community and inclusion. Everything from personal relationships to world diplomacy would benefit from ditching fear in favor of curiosity. Everything we know about ourselves and the universe around us we know because someone at some point was curious enough to find out. Let us continue that legacy, and stop scapegoating cats.
Curiously,
Rev. Tony
Daily Practice for MAY 2026 on Awakening Curiosity
Chalice Lighting:
This flame is for the questions that follow us home. The ones that refuse to settle, that sit beside us at night. Not every riddle is meant to be solved. Let this light keep open a space where not knowing is allowed to breathe. – Michelle Collins
Reflection:
Curiosity is unruly. It doesn’t like rules, or, at least, it assumes that all rules are provisional, subject to the laceration of a smart question nobody has yet thought to ask. It disdains the approved pathways, preferring diversions, unplanned excursions, impulsive left turns. In short, curiosity is deviant. Pursuing it is liable to bring you into conflict with authority at some point. – Ian Leslie
Chalice Extinguishing:
Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart, and try to love the questions themselves… Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then, gradually, without even noticing, live along some distant day into the answer. – Rilke